I have to say I am very glad that this week of being observed by my principal twice daily is over. I cannot begin to describe how stressed out, worried, and upset I have felt as a result of her concerns regarding my classroom management. I feel like so much of my life and my time is devoted to teaching and trying to be the best teacher that I can be and it is really disheartening to be viewed by the school principal as a teacher who struggles.
I had opportunities to meet with the principal almost daily this week to discuss her observations. She documented percentages of kids on task and also percentages of kids who responded to my quiet signals. Yesterday we met one final time and she indicated that she would like me to have a coach to help with some of these management issues that she is seeing. Although this has been a frustrating process, I have to say that I am very happy with how the principal has supported me during this time. Although I don't want to be someone who needs help, I do recognize that as teachers we are always trying to improve and there isn't a teacher out there who couldn't benefit from interacting with more teachers, learning from other teachers, or getting some input from other teachers. As much as I am sad about not being the "perfect" teacher, I know that this experience will have a good outcome if I acknowledge the importance of learning from others, suck up my pride and get reach out for help, and accept the support of other teachers who are willing to help me.
Although this is my 6th year of teaching, this is my first year of teaching Kindergarten. That means there are new elements to teaching that I need to learn and practice. Classroom management is not new to me, however managing 5 and 6 year olds is just not an easy task. There are a lot of techniques I use and a lot of strategies that I have learned. What I am finding with my groups is that sometimes everything goes really smoothly and they are on task and doing great. Other times, those same strategies are just not working. It's frustrating, but I recognize that I want things to go smoothly on a consistent basis and the principal is just extending support so I can make that a reality.
She suggested that I have our Literacy Specialist come and watch me teach for a whole session. I talked with this teacher yesterday and arranged for her to come and watch my morning session on Tuesday. She has years of experience teaching Kindergarten and is really excited to help me. She was so nice and emphasized that I don't in any way need to feel intimidated by her presence. I know she will be a great resource for helping me focus on making some changes in my classroom.
I also asked the principal if I could go to some other classrooms to observe a few half day Kinder teachers. It is not often that we get to see our peers and colleagues in action so I think it will be really helpful to observe how things operate in different classrooms. I am hoping to visit another school on Friday in the morning to watch a session, take some time during lunch to reflect, and then return to my classroom for the pm session to try out some of the ideas I get.
If you read my blog often or have been a reader for a long time, you may know that I am pretty much a perfectionist. I always want to do things right and be good at things. I work really hard to make that happen in a lot of areas of my life. Getting feedback from others, especially a supervisor, and especially feedback that is not all positive is really tough. When I was in student teaching and being observed in order to obtain endorsements, it was easier to take criticism because I was still learning about the field and particular student populations. It is a lot more challenging now to be confronted with less than positive feedback because I feel like I should not need help at this point. I am in my classroom daily and I know that I do a lot of things really well. My principal confirmed that when she told me that she sees that I have lots of great teaching skills and she has never commented negatively about my instructional practices--it is only the management aspects that she is concerned about. She also said that she knows that some small changes will make a big difference and that she believes in me. She actually put a really nice card in my mailbox after we talked just to show me that she cares and has faith that I will be able to overcome some of the stuff we have been talking about. I know that at the end of this school year I will be able to look back and realize that this whole process only resulted in me strengthening my skills and becoming a better teacher. I love learning and I take classes all the time to become a better teacher, so I know I need to consider the help I will get from the Reading teacher as just part of that same process.
This sure has been a humbling experience and I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. I would rather have a very active principal who watches me teach and offers support when needed than a principal who is not at all familiar with what my classroom is like and how I teach. The principal has very high standards--as do I. I just want to be at a place where I am meeting her standards in every way. I never thought I would love teaching Kindergarten as much as I do and after this week I even went so far as to ask the principal if she thinks I would be better suited to teach a different grade level where classroom management was not SUCH a huge part of instruction. She responded very quickly with no, not at all. I think this year is probably the most challenging year I will have in my career because of being away from Mr. Sneaker, teaching Kindergarten in a new school, and taking a full course load of classes for my doctorate. It's not secret that I have a lot on my plate right now, but that gives me all the more motivation to make sure I come out of this year a better, stronger person and a better teacher.
If I let this experience make me falter or take away the confidence I have as a teacher, then I am not the person I want to be. I need to embrace it for the learning experience that it is with the recognition that self improvement always requires a lot of dedication, commitment, and hard work. I am thankful that I have a great team that has listened to me talk this through on a daily basis, a principal who cares enough to not accept less than a stellar performance from her staff, other staff members who are willing to support me, and a roommate who helps me see the good in something that feels bad and put things into perspective. Times that are challenging and things that feel uncomfortable are usually the times that help us grow and improve ourselves, so I definitely have my work cut out for me!
Thanks for reading and listening!
7 comments:
I think classroom management is the most difficult thing for a teacher to master! At least it was for me! I still have lots to learn! I think it's great that you are getting feedback from your principal! It's also wonderful that you are getting support from the literacy specialist and being able to observe other teachers! Teaching needs to be a community of learning! I am always covering classes so other teachers can go and learn from one another!
I too want to be the PREFECT teacher and taking suggestions can always be a little disheartening! I love your attitude about wanting to grow and become the best teacher possible!! You're students are so lucky to have you as their teacher!!
You have such a great attitude and it is a tough age plus all thats on your plate. Trust your instincts and your colleagues. We are lucky to have dedicated teachers out there like you. Please don't doubt yourself and only change what you feel comfortable and beneficial. :)
There is really nothing more I can say other than, I can understand why this feels really hard for you, but you have a great positive attitude. In the end, this will make you a better teacher but you are an AMAZING teacher as it is.
I can't help but wonder if teaching the new grade isn't really a huge part of this -- since this is your 6th year, you clearly are a good teacher or you wouldn't still be around. It amazes me how different teaching one grade over another is in terms of management. I taught 4th last year and the year before and had to be a bit stricter and whatnot...and this year with 5th can REALLY play up the "you're the biggest in the school, we're role models, blah blah" and it works amazingly well most of the time.
I'm glad that your principal is supporting you and wants to help you grow. There is nothing worse than a principal who just targets the negative and doesn't offer help or solutions. Hang in there. You have SO much going on in your life and the support you are getting in your school is going to follow you the rest of your career. Best of luck!
Hi,
I understand your feelings. I teach Kindergarten. I love every single one of them but because of their age and stages of development, they require you to be very hands-on during the school day. This is your first year in K, give yourself some room to learn about them and from them. But don't walk this journey alone. Celebrate the highs with a fellow K teacher and make sure that she is also there for the lowest of the lows. There will be some of both. It only takes one sweet smile or an ah-ah learning moment to make it all worth it. Your positive attitude is amazing and you are doing the right thing knowing that you will be a wiser teacher when this is over. Experiences make us stronger.
If you are interested in learning more about the video you posted, the teacher was using whole brain teaching techniques. All of the techniques she used are described on their web site.
Your students are lucky to have you.
I think you are taking it very professionally. You could get offended and pouty, but instead you are trying your best to improve the situation. Principals recognize this and will remember how you reacted to constructive criticism in a positive way.
My first year teaching, I had a bad observation, but no one ever came back to see if I had addressed any of the issues, or offered me any suggestions or support other than "fix your classroom management." I wasn't rehired, and I felt incredibly angry because I hadn't been given the chance to improve.
When I was in my 2nd year teaching (in a different district), I had a principal give me a list of 37 (really) items she wanted me to improve, mostly having to do with classroom management. She gave me support and was really impressed when I managed to address (and improve upon) all 37 items. I felt like I grew a ton as a teacher that year. I had been considering leaving the profession because the kids wouldn't listen. But at the end of the year, I felt in control. In fact, the process of working through those 37 issues helped me develop a strong working relationship with the principal, and encouraged me to stay in the profession. At the end of this year, I'm sure you'll feel the same way.
By the way, I'm now a National Board Certified Teacher who mentors new teachers. So please know that classroom management does NOT come naturally, you have to develop it. It's different for each age group, too, so it's natural that you're struggling a bit in your first year of teaching kindergarten.
Good luck with those kids. :)
I know that you'll do great! We are all here to support you and encourage you...your students are so lucky to have you! {{HUGS}}
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