Kindergarten teachers are no strangers to crying children, especially at the very beginning of the year, but I have to ask all you other Kinder teachers...what do you do when kids cry?
When kids cry, I get very torn. I feel really bad when some of my kiddos miss mommy or daddy, but with many other children in the room, it's really really tough to give one child all of your attention in order to cheer them up.
Today I had a little girl start crying out of the blue. We were in the middle of math and after I gave directions I went over to her and asked her what was wrong. After a bit of talking I was able to gather that she was really over tired because she was allowed to stay up late last night to watch her new princess movie. She wanted to go home, she wanted her mommy, and she wanted to take a nap.
I don't blame her.
But, at the same time, if she is tired, she is not going to not be tired because I talk to her about.
I feel like I sound like the most heartless teacher, but I don't feel like I should remove my attention from all of the other kids and stop teaching because she didn't get enough sleep.
I let her cry and after a little bit she stopped.
It's so much different if a child is hurt or if a child is crying because of something another child did, but a child who is over tired because of--let's be real--her parents' poor choice...I don't feel like all of my energy and focus should go to consoling her. I truly felt bad that it was affecting her so much, but I also felt like even if I did try to console her, it would not have made a difference.
So, I am curious. What do you do? Are there other Kinder teachers out there who will also let a child cry? Please tell me I am not the only one. Maybe there is a good cheering up strategy that I am overlooking...
In other news, my new rug came today! Woo hoo! I am really excited to start working on transitioning from the morning greeting carpet to the new carpet so that we can get out learning on come Monday!
12 comments:
I had a little girl cry for 40 minutes. I refused to let her "leave" the room for the office staff to take her. She, then, gets out of being in class. Luckily, someone did come to sit with her. This is not as bad as the non talkers I have. It is very hard to meet their needs when they don't express themselves.
I am a first grade teacher, not kinder, but I feel the same way! I usually ask them what's wrong but then say something like "I'm sorry that happened, but this is school and we have work to do". I feel like showing too much sympathy opens up the way for other kids to cry later because they know they will get the attention...
LET THEM CRY!!! haha, I swear I'm sympathetic, but sometimes you just gotta put feelings aside and let them cry.
I let them cry. A couple of my kids were crying because they were scared of PE or other special classes. I felt bad for just letting her cry but there wasn't anything I could do to help. When they are special classes, that's when I get to eat lunch. I can handle that crying. My least favorite crying is when they don't get their way. Drives me nuts!
Yes, I'll leave them to cry if I know they are not injured. I'll do a little comforting but otherwise, it's too much when 29 other little people are clamouring! I am not a fulltime nursery teacher, I only teach them music, but there are always criers! I now take reception(4-5 year olds) on Thursdays and one little boy (who wasn't in Nursery last year- he came from a different school), burst into tears when I asked him (as part of the circle) to say his name and do a movement with it (e.g. wave, kick, hands on head, anything etc)- he burst into tears and refused to be placated. I just had to leave him to it!
Haha oh crying :) My first year teaching I had a group that loved to cry. I gave them attention for it and so they kept doing it (because back then I had the heart of a normal person haha). Now, I do not give into that type of thing at all... even if they are hurt and/or a friend hurts their feelings, they get a talking, some sympathy and then okay, let's do something else. If they are crying about missing their mom I'll give them a hug, say I know it's hard to be at school without her but good thing we are going to have SO much fun today. If they dare cry about something like not getting to go to the lego area (because it's full) I'll often get a little meaner and say, "I know you really want to go to legos and it's hard to wait, but in kindergarten we don't cry about this" and try to engage them in something else. If I can't, I'll definitely just walk away and let them cry. Kids rarely cry in my room after the first month or so unless they are REALLY hurt, they know it's easier to get my attention some other way haha.
THis makes me sound mean, but I swear I love my students :)
I love that all these teachers agree with our "No Crying in kindergarten" philosophy! hahahaha. I especially love Kelly's "when I had the heart of a normal person". Hilarious!!
I totally let them cry, too. This year, I had a little girl who cried the entire first day during staggered entry. She never went to pre-school or daycare, so she had never left her mom's side in 5 years. Luckily, she spoke Spanish and I do, too, so I did my best to help when I could. I only had 5 students that day, so I was able to give her more attention, but there were still plenty of times throughout the day that I had assessments to do and I just kind of ignored her. I also have 2 boys that throw little tantrums and cry because they can't get their way, and THAT, I completely ignore or tell them to "cut it out" in my mean teacher voice. Muahahaha.
Yes, crying students are definately tough. I know what you feel. But I would have acted the same way in this situation. I try not to 'spoil' them in a way, unless they get hurt or like you said another student does something to them. It's hard but just think that you are teaching them to behave a little more like kids than babies. Hope you enjoyed your rug!
---Regards,
---Jim Math Help Expert
So long as a kindergartner is not injured, a kindergartner cries because they want something. If an adult always comforts a kindergartner when they cry, then this will lead them to think that they can cry whenever they want comfort. That simply isn't the case. There is a limit to what kindergartners will receive comfort for. Generally speaking, they cannot be led to believe that they can get what they want by crying. There will come a day when that will simply not be true. Then, their expectations will be greatly disappointed. That's why kindergartners must sometimes be left to cry.
And, I suppose that means that kindergartners should only be comforted when they're injured. Or, is that not necessarily always true? And, under what circumstances should they be given comfort? Those are some things that I'm curious about.
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